Postpartum...

BLISS!

They warn you about postpartum depression, baby blues, and hormone imbalances. No one ever warned me that I would have an overwhelming feeling of joy. An uncontrollable happiness. No one explained the dancing in the kitchen with my boys.

When I was in the hospital they kept asking if I was depressed, anxious, unattached. They didn't once ask if I was happy.

Yes...I am HAPPY!

I have two BEAUTIFUL boys. Miracles! Beautiful blessings! They make me smile just to look at them.

After 2 weeks I am still totally, completely, head over heels in love.

Is there anything better then 2 sweet boys?

BLISS! TOTAL BLISS!

(I have been trying to update my blogs, but I've been busy dancing in the kitchen and watching Green Eggs and Ham. Hopefully more to come soon!)

The first 24 hours

The first twenty-four of Hudson's life were crazy. CRAZY.

As soon as he was born they took him to the nursery. They thought that he just needed to have his lungs deep suctioned because he was grunting but not crying. The respiratory therapist saw him and said that they sounded good. Spencer stayed in the nursery with him until they said he was doing good then he came back to my room to make sure I was okay (and to let me know that Hudson was doing a lot better.) I couldn't wait for them to get us over to the Mother/Baby unit so that we could be with Hudson again.

It was probably another hour (it seemed like forever!) while they got me ready and over there. I sent Spencer into the nursery to check on Hudson and to see how he was doing. They told him that he was doing really well, but they were waiting for the pediatrician to come over to check him. About the time that we went to the Mother/Baby unit my mom, sister Marla, and Roman got to the hospital to visit us.

Spencer came back from the nursery to let us know that he wasn't ready to leave the nursery but they were going to give him his first bath and wondered if we (spencer and me) wanted to come over to watch. He looked so much better. They turned off the lights so he would open his eyes and he was so alert. It was nice to see a cute pink baby looking back at me.



He was NOT a fan of being washed, but when she washed his head, he was so content to lay back and let her just run the warm water over his head.

The pediatrician still hadn't been back to the nursery to check Hudson again and Spencer needed to get Roman home so he could get him ready and to bed so we went back to the room where my mom, Marla, and Roman were still waiting. We told them maybe tomorrow they could see him (Roman was so confused about everything, he didn't really understand if Hudson had come out of my tummy, why couldn't he see him?)

After they had all gone for the night I decided to go back to the nursery to check on Hudson. I was really planning to just go back in and hopefully bring him back to the room with me. I was not prepared for what I found when I went back to the nursery. Hudson was once again surrounded by nurses, they were trying to get an IV in, his blood pressure had taken a nose drive, they had blown 3 veins trying to get the IV in and were just warming his feet to try to get an IV there and were talking about putting a feeding tube in because he wouldn't stay awake to drink the formula and they thought the reason they couldn't get the IV in was because he was dehydrated. After about 2 1/2 hours the nurses asked me to leave the nursery because they needed to check me. I went back to my room and just cried. I hated not knowing what was going on. They kept saying "He's fine, he'll be fine." But things just kept looking worse.

Just over an hour later the nursery nurse came into my room to let me know that they did have to put a feeding tube in to get him some fluids to get the IV in, they were able to get an IV in (they had to put it in his head) but his oxygen saturation was dipping now so they said for me to just get some sleep that night and hopefully he would be able to leave the nursery the next morning.

I finally was able to get a few hours of sleep then first thing the next morning doctors started coming in to talk to me. First was my OB. He said he had been to the nursery and that Hudson looked good then he proceeded to check on me, said everything looked perfect and he was on his way. The next doctor that came was the pediatrician. She explained that she had been talking to the nurses throughout the night and she felt good about where things were going with Hudson, but she wanted to have them watch him a little longer. His blood pressure was much better, his oxygen saturation wasn't dipping anymore but she was a little concerned about his blood sugar levels.

Before I could even get up to go check on Hudson the hospital social worker came in to meet with me. He wanted to talk about how things were going, plans for our/his hospital stay. He told me about hoteling (staying at the hospital after I was released until Hudson was released) and about support that they offer to new mothers. By this point I was getting a little emotional. I hadn't seen Hudson since the night before, and I just wanted to get in and check on him. The social worker then started talking to me about "baby blues" and post partum depression. He asked if I was feeling depressed or anxious. I told him that I hadn't seen my baby yet that morning and as soon as I knew that he was doing okay, I would be fine.

I was finally able to get to the nursery to check on Hudson and I was pleasantly surprised by how much better he looked from the night before. The feeding tube was in his nose, but they had moved his IV to his hand, he was sleeping but he looked so peaceful. Without thinking I rubbed his leg and he woke with a start, and started crying. A nice healthy cry, and he moved his leg away from me (he wasn't reflex responding the previous night, so that was huge). They let me feed him and hold him and finally have some time with my baby. It was just what I needed to see with my own eyes that he was okay. What a relief.

While I was feeding Hudson Spencer got to the hospital with Roman and shortly after that my mom and dad came (Roman went with my mom to see the float preview for that parade on Saturday) and my dad and Spencer gave Hudson a blessing. He really started to look up from there. After they were done we went back to my room to tell Roman goodbye for the day then I went back to the nursery for a bit to be with Hudson. When I got back they said they tried to flush his IV to keep it open and it had clotted so they got clearance from the doctor to take it out.

Next while I was feeding him his next feeding, he would not leave his NG tube (feeding tube) alone, so they called the doctor again and she said as long as he was eating (we were nursing and supplementing) they could take it out. When we were finished feeding him, he had almost completely pulled it off his face. By the time I left the nursery to go back to our room about an hour later, Hudson was able to come back to my room with me.

Hudson's Here - Hudson's Birth story

I wanted to type out Hudson's entire birth story so that I have it to remember. It truly was amazing. The entire pregnancy and birth were. And now that he is here, he is just as amazing. We just love him to pieces.

So I'll start where my story stopped at 39 weeks 4 days. I need to add a few details though...I was a wreck at the appointment. When the doctor told me that everything was okay and we needed to wait until Monday for another appointment I started to cry. Not because I didn't want to be pregnant anymore. I honestly loved being pregnant. I was so worried about Hudson. He had gone from a very active little belly baby, to rarely moving. I would go hours and hours (sometimes the entire day) without feeling hardly any movement. This alone made me nervous. then there was the fact that we were barely passing the NST's, and every one was stressful (why do they call them, non-stress, they are VERY stressful!).

Well, we went to my family reunion and I was trying to just forget about it and have a good time. At just about 5:00 my phone rang and I recognized the phone number as one from my doctors office. I walked away from the majority of the people and took the call. It was my doctor. He said that he had been thinking about me all day. He understood the stress that I was under and after talking to a few of his colleagues and the hospital, had been able to arrange for me to be induced Sunday night at 7:00 if I wanted to. Um, really, if I want to. YES! Once he is out he'll be much better off then he is right now (at least that's what I thought in that moment), I'll be so much less stressed (haha) and I'll KNOW that he's okay.

So we quietly made arrangements for Roman to be taken care of so that I could go in Sunday night. Sunday night finally arrived and the plan was that they would start me on some medicines that would help to soften my cervix and get things ready so that around 7:00 the next morning they would start pitocin and break my water. They said it was usually 4 doses of the first medicine administered every 3 hours throughout the night. Labor and delivery was so slow that night they said there were only 2 other women there when we got there and they were both getting ready to go over to mother/baby. They gave me the first dose around 8:00, we watched some tv, talked, eventually we decided we should get some sleep. Around 11:00 the nurse came in to give me the second dose and she offered me a sleeping pill so I could get some sleep for the big day the next day. I agreed that would be a good idea and before I knew it I was FAST asleep. I was SO fast asleep I don't even remember when she came in and gave me the third dose of the med to ripen my cervix. Around 3:20 I woke up to a "pop" feeling then a little gush. I pushed the nurse call button and said "I think my water might have just broken." So they came in to check, sure enough, it had!

So it was time to change plans. The contractions were MUCH harder after my water broke. The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural right then or if I wanted to wait. I told her I would wait a bit and see how it went. I think I made it through 3 contractions before I called the nurse back to the room and told her I was ready for my epidural. After that things just sort of took off on their own.

I had the best epidural. I had one little "hot spot" on the top of my stomach where I could still feel the pain, but once he had moved down some it wasn't painful at all. I could still feel my legs and move around on my own to help the nurses, but I didn't feel the pain. And I was able to feel to push. It really was perfect (other then the headache I had afterwards, but that may have been from being so hungry too!)

They were regularly checking my progress and were really happy with the way things were progressing. The biggest problem we were having is that Hudson's heart rate kept dropping when I was having contractions. The nurse said that she thought there was a cord problem (either he was laying on his cord, or that it was wrapped around him somehow.) So they started a fluid inversion to put some fluid back into my uterus and started me on oxygen to see if they could get the cord to shift so his heart rate wouldn't dip.

At 11:43 the nurse checked and I was fully dilated, ready to start pushing. At first that was so exciting. We (meaning I really!) started pushing....every contraction. An hour passed, another half hour and the nurse called the doctor to have him come check how things were progressing. He said things looked good, but we weren't even close....keep pushing. So I kept pushing. I was exhausted. I couldn't even open my eyes between contractions anymore because I was using every ounce of energy I had to push. The nurse said things were going well, but it's hard to tell. Finally after another hour she said that she was going to call the doctor to come over to deliver. I can't say for sure, but I am pretty sure I started to cry a little. I was so relieved to be almost there.

Then they told me "Now, don't push." Okay, I've been pushing for 2 1/2 hours. I can FINALLY feel that he is almost out, and you tell me "now don't push." SERIOUSLY! We waited through a few contractions while the doctor got ready and the second push while the doctor was there he said we had a head. 2 more pushes and he was delivered at 2:45 pm after pushing for almost exactly 3 hours.

I had not looked at the pictures from right after Hudson's birth until last night, and it scared me all over again. He was out, I could see they were wiping him off, but he was completely limp. Not making any noises. Purple and blue. Not breathing. I think this is when I shut down a little. I had been so scared of this. Then I heard the nurses discussing an APGAR score. They were trying to decide if his initial APGAR was a 2 or 3 and this is when I KNOW I just started to cry. Spencer kept asking me if I was okay and all I could say is "He's not crying." He was across the room surrounded by 2 nurses and I heard the head nurse call over her pager "We need a respiratory therapist NOW!" By 10 minutes his APGAR score was up to an 8 but they were still concerned. They wanted to take him straight to the nursery so they could treat him better. I told Spencer I needed him to go make sure Hudson was okay. He finally let out a few squeaks and some grunts. Not ideal sounds, but he was breathing. They finally let me hold him for just a minute before they took him to the nursery. Spencer wanted to stay with me but I NEEDED him to go be with Hudson.

After that I knew my doctor was talking to me, and I know that I was talking to him. But I honestly couldn't tell you a thing that was said. My mind was a few corridors away with my baby. Finally after what seemed like forever Spencer came back from the nursery to tell me he was okay. He weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and was 19 1/2" long (but the doctor said "he might be shorter tomorrow, that includes his cone head")

To be continued with his life so far...

Newborn pictures of Hudson

Wendy's little sister Becky here again...I'm making a regular habit lately of hijacking Wendy's blog. I hope you guys are enjoying it (because otherwise you would get a whole lot of waiting for pictures of this cute little guy.)

Yesterday Wendy's friend Heidi went to the hospital and took some amazing newborn pictures of Hudson. I think she did an amazing job, and Hudson is so cute.

After Wendy is out of the hospital and settled in at home she can provide the blog with all her fun adventures, in the meanwhile enjoy these beautiful pictures.

New pictures of Hudson

Hey! This is Wendy's little sister Becky...I have hijacked Wendy's blog (again) to post new pictures of Hudson to those inquiring minds that would love more, and can never get enough of this adorable new little baby. The photos are courtesy of my mom.

Hudson's Here

Hudson is here!

Born Monday July 19, 2010 at 2:45 p.m.

Weighed: 7 lbs. 13 oz.

Length: 19 inches

39 weeks 4 days

Yesterday morning we had another NST (non-stress test). I was completely prepared. Had bags packed for Roman, hospital bag in the car for me, Spencer was with me...so of course, nothing happened.

First thing they did was weighed me. I forgot to mention on Wednesday I have now kept a consistent weight for the last 3 weeks. Haven't lost a pound, haven't gained a pound. (The funniest was the Wednesday after the 4th of July and the doctor asked if I had been eating okay. I told him it was the 4th of July I had eaten PLENTY!) Then they took my blood pressure. On Wednesday it was 120/70. Yesterday it was 140/80. So it was a little high.

The nurse then took us back to a room and thankfully NO problems getting things set up. We started the test and after the first 10 minutes the nurse came in, everything was reading fine so she said the doctor would come look at things in another 10 minutes. About 10 minutes later the nurse popped her head back in and said that when the doctor was finished with the patient he was with he would be in. So we waited another 10 minutes.

When the doctor came in he said that everything looked really good, asked how I was feeling and talked to us about what we would do next. I told him that I haven't been sleeping very well because I have just been so nervous because this little wiggly boy who used to move all the time just doesn't move much anymore. I know, I know, he doesn't have room to move anymore, but it's hard not to worry when you don't know what's going on in there. My doctor explained that if he thought there was even a tiny problem he would have not hesitate to deliver him. The other problem is that the hospital will not allow them to induce until you are a week late unless there is a problem.

39 Weeks

After my appointment last week the doctor told me to schedule a non-stress test (NST) before my appointment this week, just to make sure everything was still looking okay then my appointment.

I went in for my NST at 10:20, everything you can imagine was going wrong getting it set up, first the batteries on the machine died, then they were out of paper so it took 20 minutes just to get things started. Then the nurse had a hard time getting him to stay under the monitor. FINALLY got it going, it was supposed to be 20 minutes. After 20 minutes the nurse came in and re adjusted because there were a few times that she had lost his heart beat so she needed a longer reading. After 10 more minutes my doctor came in and he didn't like the way it was reading so he readjusted it again and wanted to watch it for 20 more minutes. Finally after an hour he came in and showed me "See this is what we want to see" and showed me the accelerations, and there were 13 in the hour which he said was great, but there was one deceleration that concerned him (his heart rate dropped down to 98 bpm and it was slow to come back up) He did my exam, still just 1 1/2 cm dilated (he didn't tell me how far effaced) but he said "I am not too concerned, but we've made it 9 months, I know your history, I don't want to take any risks."

So he had me go over for an u/s to make sure fluid levels were still looking okay. He said if it was under 7 he was going to induce me right then. Fluid level was 11.3 so he sent me across the hall to labor and delivery (his office is in the hospital) for an hour long NST because their equipment is better and he really wanted to make sure everything was looking okay.

Every 15 minutes or so a nurse would come in and talk to me about how things were looking. After the first 30 minutes the nurse was so encouraging she said that everything looked perfect and she said we would for sure be headed home today. After the next 15 minutes (so I'd been there just over 45 minutes) she said that his heart rate had dipped again so they wanted to monitor me for another 30 minutes.

After that 30 minutes was over I was surprised when it was my doctor that came in. Again I have to say how great he is. He was very reassuring, he said if there was really a reason that we should take him today he would have in a heartbeat but he felt like after the second NST that everything was okay.

He wants to see me again on Friday for another non-stress test before the weekend. So Friday afternoon we'll either be having a baby...or at my family reunion...either way should be an exciting day.

And, for those of you who wonder just how big I am...here is a picture from last Wednesday when my friend did my maternity pictures. (More to come)

38 weeks

I had my appointment this morning. I am now 1-1 1/2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and Hudson's heart rate was around 137. Because he hasn't been moving as much lately he did a NST today, which he said looked great. He should have an increase in heartrate at least 2 times in 20 minutes and he had 6. I wasn't having any contractions while we were doing the test but my uterus was irritated. The u/s tech said he weighs about 6 lbs 6 oz right now and fluid level was looking great. I asked the doctor about induction if he hasn't come...he said because everything is going "normal" right now, the hospital won't let him induce before I am 1 week late if there isn't a problem. So the soonest he could induce me would be July 26 but he said he really thought I would have him by then. He said if he were to guess based on size, position, and progress so far he thinks I'll have him pretty close to my due date, his guess would be the 17-21. Hopefully he's right!

Tonight my friend is taking some maternity pictures for me...so I'll have real pictures to post sometime in the near future...

37 Weeks

I had my appointment this morning, and I would be lying if I didn't say I was a tiny bit disappointed. Last night I was having CRAZY contractions. Every 4-7 minutes, a few of them were super painful. I thought about going in but convinced myself I had an appointment at 8:40 this morning. If my water broke or anything, I would go in, otherwise I would wait it out. LONG night, they finally did slow down.

Went to the appointment this morning and NO PROGRESS at all. I was still just a fingertip dilated and 30% effaced. Oh and probably from the contractions, he is now turned sideways. Not that he can't easily turn back to head down from where he is, but after all that, nothing. He is still growing well, still has a good heart rate (I forgot to ask what it was, he just said it was good, and I was asking a million other questions.) My stomach feels like I did about 500 crunches yesterday, just sore. It did give me this kick in the behind I needed to get my hospital bag packed though (oh and to go buy the rest of the things that I needed for my hospital bag) so I guess some good did come of it.