Copied from
this other blog.
I have come to think of 2009 as the year that we learned to expect the unexpected. As the year was drawing to a close, I think we were given the most unexpected surprise....we were expecting. I found out on November 13 that we were once again expecting a child. We have been there before. We know what can happen, and we know that my uterus just isn't happy with the idea. Even with all the fears in the back of our mind, we couldn't help but be cautiously optimistic, happy, scared, all at once. We might really have another baby. It just seemed so surreal.
After processing the entire thing for about an hour I immediately got on the phone with our doctors office, explained the situation and they were willing to get me in that afternoon for a blood draw to check my HCG (hormone) level to see approximately how far along I was. After talking to the doctors office I called Spencer and told him that I needed him to come home from work a little early if possible because I had a doctors appointment that I needed to go to. He asked if anything was wrong and I told him that I really hoped not...
That night we talked and I told Spencer that I didn't want to worry about everything this time, I wanted to enjoy every second that we had, and that I just needed to relax. On Monday the doctors office called back to say that my HCG numbers looked really good and they wanted to get me in for an ultrasound to try to verify how far I was. I was nervous, but so excited. They were able to get me in that afternoon for an Ultrasound. I went to the appointment and the ultrasound tech said I was 5 weeks 6 days pregnant. Everything looked really good. I was flying high. The next day I wasn't feeling very well, and after a much longer shopping trip then I initially expected I started bleeding. I told myself to relax, sit down, things would be okay. By the next day (our anniversary) things were looking much worse. I was resigned to the fact that once again we were not going to be able to carry to term. I thought I was doing so well at being calm, but at that moment all that went out the window. I was talking to the doctors office almost every day. Things just felt like they were going from bad to worse.
I went back in for another ultrasound a week later and we started our mixed bag visits. The good news, things were looking good, they couldn't see where the bleed was coming from, but they found a heart beat. The bad, they had calculated how far along I was wrong the previous week, she went back to the previous ultrasounds and remeasured and because it was so early it was easy to be off, I had only been 5 weeks before, I was now only 6 weeks 1 day. I lost almost an entire week. So we scheduled an appointment for a week later to make sure that things were still looking okay. Plus, they wanted to see a heartbeat that was 120 or higher, and it was only about 115. Not huge, but worrysome.
It was another nervewracking week. Thankfully we had Thanksgiving and a very short trip to see Mommy Katie as a much needed distraction. We went back in and once again, mixed bag. The heatbeat had increased. It was now where it should be, growth was right on target, but they found a uterun septum that they didn't know I had before (See what I mean, every appointment was a mixed bag?)
At that point because things were going well they said that I didn't need another ultrasound so my next appointment would be my "First" OB visit. I had almost a week to enjoy that high and that weekend things went from bad to worst. I was 100% sure that I had miscarried. To spare you the details it was awful. It was a Saturday night, I didn't know what to do. By Sunday morning I had calmed down some and I called the oncall number for my doctors office. I am so thankful that I did. My doctor was on call. (He is fabulous by the way) He said that if I went to the emergency room they would just call him because he was the doctor on call, that he had better equipment at this office, so if I would like he would meet me there. We got there and he once again did an ultrasound. Somehow, someway, we had not lost it. I was in total shock. It did not seem possible. That didn't mean that we were out of the woods though. I had a subchronic hemorrhage. So rather then waiting for a regular doctors visit, we were able to have another ultrasound. We went at the end of the week and again there was good and bad. We started preparing ourselves for both. The baby was still growing, but unfortunately, so was the blood clot.
Finally, at my "First ob visit" on December 28 we got almost all good news. Things were looking good, we didn't do an ultrasound at that appointment, but he was happy with how things were going. He was able to find the heartbeat via doppler (which he said was a good sign) and it was nice and steady at 167 bpm. I was ALMOST out of the first trimester, and he said if we made it to the next appointment then the risk of miscarriage decreased significantly. He wasn't too worried by this point, but I was. Plus add to that, now instead of going once a week, or every 2 weeks max, we were now spacing the appointments out 3 weeks.
So I had 3 rather nervewracking weeks wondering what was going on in there and finally January 20 arrived. It seemed like it was just crawling then all of a sudden it was here. The good thing about having more time between appointments is that it makes the time go by faster, the bad is the wondering, worrying, not knowing.
As I mentioned before my doctor is fabulous. I went to my appointment, told him all my worries and he took the time to even draw out what we were looking at so that I could understand. He once again found a nice steady heartbeat 150 bpm, I was measuring right on target, he said that if he had a gold star he would have given me one things just looked perfect. At the end when I was still just a nervous wreck he offered to squeeze me in for another ultrasound. I was so relieved. I don't want to seem needy, but I am. I am always so worried.
The ultrasound tech was fabulous too, she not only checked my uterus and to make sure the bleed was resolving/resolved (almost resolved, less then 1 cm now YAY) she also took the time to show me hands, feet, legs, kidneys, a heart, brain, a few cute profile views, it made me feel so much better every time she did a measurement and would say that things were still right in line with my due date.
I don't think we'll feel completely at ease until he is here safe and sound, but this has been the most unexpected blessing. Still praying every day, but thanking Heavenly Father every day for this amazing unexpected blessing.